Dr. Lawrence Butler

The Bridge Church, Pembroke

All of us have been disappointed by someone. It is not always difficult to forgive a disappointment, but it can be almost impossible to release a deliberate hurt inflicted upon us by a friend or family member. Even though a person has apologized for causing a rift in the relationship, we may find it hard to put the incident behind us. I have urged you previously that you must forgive and release not just the other individual, but yourself as well.

However, what should we do when the offender is not repentant? When there is no apology forthcoming what should our response and attitude be? I find there is just such a situation found in the Bible. Do you remember while Jesus was hanging on the cross what those around Him were doing? They were mocking and scoffing at Him. “And they that passed by reviled him, wagging their heads, And saying, Thou that destroyest the temple, and buildest it in three days, save thyself. If thou be the Son of God, come down from the cross. Likewise also the chief priests mocking him, with the scribes and elders, said, He saved others; himself he cannot save. If he be the King of Israel, let him now come down from the cross, and we will believe him” (Matt. 27:29-42).

Listen to the gracious words that proceeded from the lips of our Savior as He heard their taunts. Jesus prayed for them, He witnessed to the thief on the nearby cross, and He forgave them that were gambling for His clothes just beneath the cross. “Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). No one repented for their words. No one apologized for their wicked acts. Yet Jesus forgave them anyway.

There will be people who have hurt you who will never apologize for what has been done. You will carry some things to your grave without ever finding a place of reconciliation.

The best you can do is seek grace from the Lord to have forgiveness in your heart. Don’t focus on the hurt inflicted upon you, focus on the forgiveness God granted you when you repented of your wrong. Realizing the forgiveness granted you, and how unworthy you were of such a blessing, should spur us to forgive even those who don’t ask for it. They are in God’s hands and He will handle that at the appropriate time.