I don’t know about y’all, but I feel as though every day is April Fools’ for folks who never know what exactly on God’s green Earth is going on (i.e., me).
This past Sunday, I was so confused by all these athletes and celebrities I follow on Instagram wishing their mothers a happy Mothers’ Day until I realized they all had one thing in common--being British.
Apparently the U.K. celebrates their Mother’s Day--or Mothering Sunday, as they call it--earlier than us for whatever reason. I’m sure it’s a good reason, like something historical or religion-based, but that Sunday morning I just momentarily felt like a bad daughter for forgetting Mothers’ Day, until my mom was all like, “what the hell are you talking about?” which prompted me to search up ‘when is Mother’s Day’ on my web browser. Phew. Dodged a bullet.
Subsequently, as I was driving home from work on Monday, I began to realize that the commute was much, much shorter than usual. I saw no school buses in my neighborhood, but I did see a bunch of kids walking around, playing basketball or soccer, or simply riding their bikes and eating convenience store snacks on the way to wherever. It dawned on me that it was probably Spring Break (and I checked later: it is!) which made me feel a bit unsettled that I’m past the period where my life is dictated by the U.S. academic calendar. To translate: I feel old!
Looking back, my spring breaks growing up were very unremarkable; I would usually stay at home and read books or watch TV until my parents came home from work. Although my mom worked in the public school system, she chose instead to send me to Catholic schools, which meant that we hardly ever shared the same spring break period. Ours would always be the week after Easter, which was absolutely terrible because Easter moves around every year; this year, for example, it’s towards the end of April! Imagine being a kid waiting that long for a spring break: the Stations of the Cross never felt more relatable.
(I’m so sorry: this is yet another column that I’m writing without any discernible rhyme, reason, or wider purpose. As it stands, you may be starting to understand why I choose to fill my columns up with poetry and song lyrics instead. Plus being a managing editor is difficult enough without having to philosophize about current events in 600 or so words every week. Did you hear that our Commander-in-Chief wants musicals like “Cats” to be shown at Washington, D.C.’s Kennedy Center, as an example of “non-woke” programming?
What joy.
Anyways, I’ll choose to close out this week’s column with my thoughts on Hi-Chew candies--which I am currently snacking on as I write (type) this column out. For those of you who don’t know, Hi-Chew is a Japanese fruit candy, similar to Starburst, but much chewier. I’d say it’s a cross between chewing gum and jujubes. I bought two packs of the strawberry flavor at Publix, a flavor I had never tried before; my verdict is that they taste delicious. Did you know that Hi-Chew has so many different flavors? I looked it up: according to their official website, they have 36 official flavors, and nearly all of them sound quite interesting.
Hi-Chew Flavors:
Açai Banana Black Cherry Blue Hawaii Blue Raspberry Blueberry Candy Apple Cola Dragon Fruit Grape Grapefruit Green Apple Juicy Blood Orange Juicy Peach Juicy Strawberry Key Lime Pie Kiwi Lemon Mai Tai Mango Mango Chamoy Orange & Tangerine Peach Piña Colada Pineapple Rainbow Sherbet Ramune Raspberry Red Apple & Strawberry Salted Caramel Strawberry Strawberry Ice Cream Strawberry Lemonade Tropical Smoothie Watermelon Yuzu Lime
I'll admit; I haven't even heard of some of these (Mai Tai, Yuzu Lime?) and some of them sound plain disgusting (Salted caramel? Pass.)
On the other hand; the green apple, mango, pineapple, and straw - berry lemonade flavors practically have my name on them. Which flavors on the list are your favorite? I might have to find some more flavors to try out the next time I go grocery shopping. According to my internet research, the founder of Hi-Chews, Taichiro Morinaga, moved to Oakland, California from Japan at the age of 23, and decided to bring back his newfound knowledge of confectionary to his homeland. Can you imagine being such a visionary at the age of 23? Well, not to toot my horn, but as a young, enterprising managing editor I certainly can. Morinaga and I must share the same maverick streak.
Anyways, Hi-Chews were meant to solve the Japanese faux pas of taking food out of your mouth in public (which meant that traditional chewing gum didn't take off there much; Japan probably also less bubble gum stuck under school desks and bus seats). Morinaga decided to combine chewy caramel with fruit flavors to create the Chewlet, which ultimately became the Hi-Chew later on. Hi-Chews became a big hit in the States, with Morinaga's company, Morinaga American Foods (MAF) even establishing their first U.S.-based manufacturing facility in North Carolina in 2015. The Hi-Chew craze was spurred on by LDS missionaries who, after coming back from their trips to Japan, wanted local stores to carry their new favorite candy. Baseball players also played their part: Japanese players in Major League Baseball would often be seen snacking on Hi-Chews in the dugout, a major home-run (pun intended) for candy marketers. This is why I think baseball is America's past - time: what other sport lets you eat candy during games? Sounds like a sweet deal if you ask me (another pun intended).
Andrea Gutierrez is the managing editor of the Bryan County News. Gutierrez’s favorite Hi-Chew flavor is Mango, and her favorite musical is Phantom of the Opera, a show notable for discussing the lengths of true love and the importance of inner beauty over societal judgement and vanity. The soundtrack went triple platinum in my morning commute.