Andrea Gutierrez
Associate Editor
Every year, without fail, I try to delude myself into believing that the autumn season in southeast Georgia is just like life in Stars Hollow, Connecticut. But at least in Richmond Hill, the similarities are uncanny– an abundance of cozy cafes, a stately town hall, and residents who still dress like it’s 2002.
Plus, there’s no doubt that I’m definitely Bryan County’s resident Rory Gilmore. After all, I am a journalist, and my alma mater’s mascot is a bulldog, so at least my educational background is somewhat Yale-adjacent.
In lieu of a television series about my life, however, here’s a list of some observations I’ve made recently about this fall season.
Fall Outfits
Expectation: My weekly outfits are meticulously planned out, following the guidance of various Pinterest boards.
Reality: My mom laughs and says that the maxi dress I bought at Gap makes me look like a Jehovah’s Witness, so I permanently switch to slacks for the office until further notice.
Scented Candles
Expectation: The magical smell of seasonal wax candles will boost morale and productivity, and our newspapers will sell like Pumpkin Spice Lattes at Starbucks.
Reality: Jeff remarks that the office smells like a gift shop, and I briefly wonder if we’d be better off in the sales industry. (We could sell Bryan County News merchandise! Like T-shirts and keychains and water bottles!)
Trick or treating
Expectation: To avoid my neighbors thinking I’m a cheap, miserable person, I’ll purchase plenty of assorted sweets for the kids in my culde- sac.
Reality: I just buy bags of discounted KitKats on November 1 to selfishly snack on until New Year’s.Ghost stories
Expectation: I’ll cozy up on my couch on a chilly late night, and watch tons of scary movies until I fall asleep.
Reality: A local woman walks in my office one evening while I’m trying to do layout for the paper, and says that she believes someone is casting spells on her house. “I’ve already contacted NBC, Lifetime, and even Oprah,” she gleefully tells me. I bite my tongue and nod along, all the while thinking that the spookiest people in society are attention seekers.
Voting
Expectation: My friends and I debate on whether Friday the 27th or Saturday the 28th is a better night for a Halloween party this year.
Reality: I spend more time “debating” in my head the merits of a yearly election cycle but there’s no point because no matter what, I know I’m permanently stuck writing about said elections in the paper until the second Tuesday of November.
Andrea Gutierrez is the associate editor of Bryan County News.