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Confessions of an elementary school teacher
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In some way or another, you are probably saying goodbye to summer and hello to a brand new school year. Reminiscing of school years gone by, teachers reveal their classroom confessions, both humorous and heartfelt. - photo by Lyndsi Frandsen
Whether you are a parent, student or teacher, in some way or another, you are probably saying goodbye to summer and hello to a brand new school year. Elementary school teachers everywhere are working hard to prepare for a new batch of students. Before they completely revert back to teacher mode, I thought it would be fun to reminisce of school years gone by, and asked them to reveal classroom confessions, both humorous and heartfelt. Grab an apple, tuck a pencil behind your ear, and try to enjoy back to school from a teachers point of view. (Names have been withheld to protect the innocent.)

I am constantly reminding my students that boogers are not a food group.

kindergarten teacher

When the district switched to wheat, on spaghetti day we all heard (and smelled) the side effects.

second-grade teacher

When I had a substitute coming, I used to tell my class that she would grind their bones to make her bread if they were naughty. At the beginning of the year they were horrified. By the end, they just rolled their eyes and laughed.

third-grade teacher

"When I see you at the grocery store at the end of the summer, my heart is thrilled! I love to see you again and find that after the summer is past, I now find in you a dear friend. I love you!"

kindergarten teacher

Whenever a child wets their pants, I try to help them not feel so embarrassed by telling them that sometimes grown-ups wet their pants too. Most of the time, they are all too eager to share the story of a time their mom wet her pants. In other news, moms shouldnt jump on trampolines.

first-grade teacher

I realized a few years ago that school is a full-time job for these little ones. They leave early in the morning, work, have a break, eat lunch, back to work, then home to do chores and homework! Just like mom and dad! Off to work everyday.

second-grade teacher

When a child says, "I want my mommy!" I answer, "I do too.

kindergarten teacher

When a child says, "I want to go home," I say, "I do too!"

kindergarten teacher

I havent taken a bathroom break in at least 10 hours.

fifth-grade teacher

I wish I was paid by the hour.

fourth-grade teacher

I shed many tears throughout the school year. Some on my behalf, but most on the students.

first-grade teacher

The little toilets are truly intended for the kids. Its a long way down!

kindergarten teacher

If you need honesty, talk to a child. They will always tell you when there is a bat in the bat cave.

fifth-grade teacher

I cried after you yelled at me for making your student move their behavior clip down.

first-grade teacher

I really dont care whether your child went #1 or #2 this morning.

second-grade teacher

While referencing where the letters should go on the handwriting lines, I once told my student, Oh honey, you need to put your P in the ditch.

kindergarten teacher

Kids can paper cut just about anything. Including their eyeball.

fifth-grade teacher

I cry for two weeks when your child graduates my class.

fifth-grade teacher

Parents terrify me.

first-grade teacher

I giggle during the maturation clinic.

fifth-grade teacher

You no longer have any secrets. Your child has told me all of them.

fifth-grade teacher

There is no smell worse than a fifth-grade classroom after recess on a hot day. Spraying them down with Febreeze does not work. It is never too early for your child to wear deodorant and routinely shower.

fifth-grade teacher

Please dont give me any more mugs. I have way too many already.

first-grade teacher

When its time to go back to school in the fall, I mourn because I dont want to leave my babies. When the school year comes to an end, I have 25 new babies that I mourn leaving behind.

kindergarten teacher

On behalf of teachers everywhere, happy back to school!
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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