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Annoyed with your spouse? Why it may actually be a good thing.
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Feeling annoyed toward your spouse isn't a bad thing. - photo by Wendy Jessen
Living in close quarters with someone means there's bound to be some things that start to bug you about the other person. Pet peeves, annoyances, and disagreements start to trickle into a relationship, no matter how in love you are.

However, this doesn't mean your marriage is headed for divorce; it actually can mean quite the opposite.

Allowing your flaws to hang out means you're comfortable

"While it may seem counterintuitive, driving each other nuts from time to time can simply mean you're comfortable enough with each other to show the true side of yourselves, according to relationship coach Kira Asatryan," stated a recent Women's Day article. This means you've stopped putting your best behavior forward, gotten past the "honeymoon" phase of the relationship, and maybe even feel confident that your spouse will love you even with your flaws.

If you're annoyed, that means you still care

The article also states that being annoyed shows you're still emotionally invested in the relationship. It means you care about your spouse and your relationship, which is a really great thing. If not, you would likely develop apathy and avoid your spouse altogether.

While it's good to feel comfortable and still be emotionally attached to your marriage, this doesn't mean you don't have to work on your relationship and these little (or big) annoying habits you have. For a marriage to be healthy, you need to work through problemsbig and smallto improve your relationship with each other and make your marriage happier.

Discuss what's bugging you

Because little things often fester and turn into big things, it's important to address them before they get out of hand. If something is bugging you, talk about it with your spouse and find a way to compromise or find a solution to the problem or behavior that needs to be dealt with. If you're the one causing the issue, take responsibility and work to change it.

Share positive traits with each other too

It can be a major downer to always hear what you're doing wrong or what's annoying your spouse, so make sure you take time to talk about the good things. Share what you love about your spouse. Thank your spouse for the improvements he or she has made to resolve an annoying habit. Change is hard, so be encouraging, don't nag or belittle. Celebrate achievements. We always have things we can improve, but that doesn't mean there aren't things we are already doing well.

Being annoyed is actually a good thing because it shows you still care about your relationship, and that you are comfortable with your spouse. However, we can still make improvements when you know you are doing things that annoy your spouse, or gently talk to your husband/wife when there's something he/she is doing that bugs you.

As you fix the little problems in your marriage, your relationship will grow and get stronger. You will learn to communicate better with your spouse and love him/her more deeply.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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