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7 signs you need help getting over your heartbreak
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Is your heartbreak going to take more than time to heal? - photo by Emily Cummings
Heartbreak is never pleasant. No one goes into a relationship hoping it will end with hurt feelings, a broken heart, and a return to the single life; but thats sometimes the case. So, after a few weeks of tears, time for yourself, and more binge sessions of Netflix than youd like to admit, you are recoveringright? It really does take time for you to bounce back, but sometimes even time cant heal all wounds. If you are feeling these 7 things long after the breakup, its time to get some help.

1. Happily never after.

A misanthropic and cynical view of love isnt going to get your heart ready to date again. You might not have the most optimistic feelings towards relationships after a breakup, but if it has been months, and you still cant stand to watch the end of a romantic comedy, your heart is not healing. It may take more than just you to help you to trust and love again.

2. Im not free on Friday.

Your last relationship broke your heart, but it doesnt mean that dating = terrible breakups. Itll work out despite the bumpy road. But in order for that to happen, you need to start dating again. Not immediately (no one likes a rebound), but having a little crush or enjoying yourself during a dinner date shows your heart that you can love again. If this reality seems out of your reach, it could be time for you to get some help.

3. So my last boyfriend.

Ah, the comparison game. Despite the fact that you never want to see his face again, you seem to compare any possible date to your ex. You talk yourself out of potential suitors because your last boyfriend actually played basketball, not just messed around on the court. You wouldnt want to go out with someone who was seeing how you compare to his last beau, why are you doing the same?

4. Depression.

Sadness accompanies any level of heartbreak, but depression after a broken heart is all too common and much more serious. Its more than just feeling sad, crying some, and feeling down. You arent yourself. You dont have any motivation to get out of bed though its been weeks and weeks after hearing were through. Your favorite hobbies hold no appeal. Dont think that time will make it better, or you are just going through a phase. Get help.

5. #ImWatchingYou.

Avoid the social media stalking (and in-person stalking too, for that matter). Obsessing over every post, every tag, and every tweet is going to drive you over the edge. Dont torture yourself by hopping online to see who theyve been seeing or have been spending their time with. If its been months and you still find yourself drawn to their Facebook page, its time to move forward.

6. But, he was perfect.

After a while, theres a tendency to only remember the positive, even though he actually wasnt perfect. Idealizing the relationship makes you fall deeper in love with the idea of the person, not the actual person. You are fabricating an ideal that doesnt exist, making it impossible for anyone to live up to that false standard. Remember to not dwell on the relationship too much, but avoiding the topic completely is impossible. When you do walk down memory lane, remind yourself there were things that were less than perfect.

7. Baggage check.

Its difficult to see the good thats come out of this breakupbut its there. Yes, youve got some emotional baggage, but that doesnt mean its all bad. Its going to be hard to open up with someone new and put yourself in a vulnerable situation, but its not impossible. A popular quote reads, Everyone you meet comes with baggage; find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. If you cant commit to a relationship or feel like your romantic past is holding you down, its time to get past it.

Why keep yourself from being happy? Being hung up on only being happy when you are with someone is keeping you from the chance to be completely you (and figure out exactly what that means). No one is saying its easy to get over the hurt and betrayal of a breakup, but there are those that can help you. Whether you can do this with the help of friends, or the help of a professional doesnt matter. Its time.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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